Loss and Grief
When an animal we love is ill and dying or has died, we may find the reality too hard to bear, or may become detached and numb, or find ourselves in a state of shock or disbelief. For many of us the experience can leave an empty void within that may not be understood by others. Sometimes people say the death of an animal companion is as difficult as losing a human friend or family member…or even more. When we have shared a bond with animals who love and accept us wholeheartedly for who we are, we experience unconditional love. Each animal comes into our lives and reaches us in a unique way. So when an animal friend is gone we are touched deeply in a very fragile part of our being.
Our grief can be felt and perceived in various ways that may change from moment to moment. If the grief process for you feels like chaos or waves of emotions, do not worry, this is normal since your connection with reality is shaken. Be aware that to deny or resist the pain of loss will not change the reality. We can choose to live in denial and avoid our discomfort
or find a place of acceptance to go through the sorrow. The heart to heart bond we share with animals when they are alive is part of the circle of life and death - our lesson is learning to let go and go through, when it is time.
During times of loss or crisis: in a session, sharing your real life story about the situation and the animal(s) you're involved with can help you process the experience to gain courage, acceptance, understanding and find closure when needed.
Honor an animal friend : a session can assist you in the process of a loss and allow you to recognize the special bond and purpose you have with an animal during the end of life transition or with a pet who has died. So the outcome can be an enriching and rewarding experience.
These are some suggestions you may find helpful to celebrate
the memory of your beloved animal friend:
- Plant a flower or a garden.
- Make a journal or collage about the animal.
- Write a letter or make a picture to express your loss.
- Make give a gift or a donation to animals in need.
- Share your animal friend's story with someone who cares.
Words of comfort :
Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding. Proverbs 3:5
Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. Mathew 5: 4
My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains my strength of heart.
Psalm 73:26
The LORD is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those who are crushed in spirit.
Psalm 34:18
Missing Animals
The purpose of my work with a person looking for a missing animal is to increase the possibilities for a positive outcome. I do all that I can to support you in finding your missing animal friend. However, I can not guarantee the animal will be found. My ultimate goal is to provide you some peace of mind, provide support and help you take pragmatic steps in your
in your search strategy. My first suggestion is to review the search steps below.
Looking for a lost animal is surely a journey of the heart. The experience of not knowing where a beloved animal friend has gone can instill a strong desire to find closure. If your animal companion is not found after a long period of time, do not give up hope. Sometimes animals are gone for one day and others for several days, weeks or even months. There have been true accounts of people being reunited with their missing pets after a year or more. Of course you want to find your animal friend sooner - that is, as soon as possible. Yet the situation requires a delicate balance between keeping hope alive, while knowing when to let go of trying too hard and over-extending yourself.
Sometimes when an animal is gone it may be due to the animal’s need for a change or new adventure, or a calling to fulfill a purpose that is not always ours to know or control. It helps to recognize that although animals we love may depend on us, they can still make their own choices. And as much as we want to fully take care of them, they may be drawn to have experiences apart from living with us. Animal Conversation sessions often bring the bigger picture of the situation into focus for a person or family. In doing this work I have found a most important key is a person's own direct knowing about their animal friend. So engaged conversation about the animal and the situation can somehow reinforce that connection, whatever the outcome may be.
Take good care of yourself along the way:
- Stay empowered, rather than depleted by the situation.
- Take deep breaths, stay calm and have a positive outlook.
- Put yourself in the animal’s paws and consider the situation
- from the animal’s point of view.
- Be open to the unexpected and don’t overlook the simple
or obvious possibilities.
- Take rests from the search to step back and reflect and allow
events to unfold as they may.
- Eat nourishing meals and get plenty of rest.
- Ask neighbors, friends, family and loved ones to help you along
the way. That is, create a support system with someone who cares.
- Stay calm and as relaxed as possible. The animals worry about us too!
SEARCH TIPS
- Go to the local animal shelters and rescue groups in your area; visit regularly in person and take a picture of the animal with you; ask about deceased, injured and found animals there as well. Ask any witnesses who last saw your pet about details and ask if the police have received any reports.
- Post flyers with a photo of your pet in at least a 1 to 2 mile radius of where the animal was lost, including veterinarian offices and pet stores. You may want to put them under the front door mats of houses (but not in the mailbox). If it’s raining put the flyers in plastic pages.Place a lost pet ad in the newspaper and on a lost animal website.
- Be sure to check the found pet ads in the local newspaper and online as well.
- Call your local radio station to see if they will make an announcement about your pet.
- Ask the neighbors, mail person and any workers to keep a close watch and ask if any open doors have been shut recently - including any garages, crawl spaces, sheds, abandoned buildings, parked cars or moving vans.
- Depending on the weather, look where the animal might take refuge from the rain and wind /or either too much heat or cold.Be sure to check where any food and water sources may be.
- Ask children to help for they can be a great at keeping an eye out.Be sure to leave your phone number with any familiar acquaintances you ask during your search so they can call you if they see your pet.
- Setting a humane trap in key locations can help for cats and small animals. These traps can usually be used on loan from animal rescue groups. But be sure to check the cages every few hours. When searching, take time to walk at a slow pace, get quiet, listen carefully and stop regularly to look and listen very closely.The best time to look is when it’s most quiet if possible at dusk or dawn.
- Make a noise that your pet is familiar with such as a squeaky toy or shaking a box of pet treats.
- Bring a flashlight to look in dark spaces where a frightened animal may be hiding and also at night.
- A dog whistle might get the animal’s attention, as this high pitch sound is audible to both dogs and cats.
- Place the animal’s bedding or article of your worn clothing outside your home and / or make a scent trail to your home. This can be done by cutting up some of your worn socks into little pieces and placing them on the ground near trees and in bushes as a trail to your home. You can also rub your familiar lotion on trees and / or put your urine in a spray bottle and apply to bushes. But note - the scent only lasts about a week and may diminish from the rain.
- Keep in mind that dogs tend to seek out help from humans and are more often turned into the police and shelters.
- Outdoor cats can stray far away quite quickly while indoor cats are often (but not always) found within a few blocks of home. But know that if scared any cat can be hiding very close to home, sometimes for several days.
- For birds look in tree branches, away from noise and near a water source. Due to their camouflage take binoculars if possible.
- For cats and smaller animals look up in trees, and in every nook and cranny such as laundry rooms, garages, drain pipes, dumpsters, barns or sheds and under cars, behind washers and dryers, stoves, or crawl spaces.
- Ask neighbors if they have closed any doors or crawl spaces lately. A tortoise will tend to burrow in the dirt to hibernate in the winter months.
- If you think your pet was stolen, act quickly to notify the local police department.
Animal Conversation (C) 2010
